Let’s be real. In a world where we praise “doing our best”—sometimes that bar is just too low. Because when it comes to parenting, especially after separation or divorce, good enough isn’t always enough.
Yes, kids need the basics: food, shelter, safety.
But they also need something deeper—something more intentional.
They need emotional stability.
They need to know they can speak freely—without fear of being judged, punished, dismissed, or shut down.
They need to be raised, not relied on.
Your child is not your therapist, your ally, or your messenger. They are a child—they need you to take care of them, not the other way around.
They need to know it’s okay to love both parents.
They are half of each of you. Don’t force them to choose sides. That’s your battle—not theirs.
They need to hear “I love you” even when they’re angry, struggling, or saying things that are hard to hear.
They need to know all feelings are welcome, even the messy ones.
It’s not your job to decide what they feel—it’s your job to support them in expressing it safely and constructively.
They can share their thoughts and feelings about parenting plans, but they should never be responsible for making those decisions.
They need to be able to miss their other parent without guilt.
Missing someone doesn’t mean they love you less. It means they’re human.
Here’s the truth that cuts deep:
Divorce is unnatural for kids. It’s disorienting.
But it’s reality for many. So the goal isn’t to pretend it doesn’t matter.
It’s to show up mindfully, consistently, and with emotional maturity.
Take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids.
They see you—even when they’re not looking.
They hear you—even when they’re not listening.
They feel you—even when you think you’re holding it all together.
So be mindful. Be accountable.
Be the parent they don’t have to recover from.
Because “good enough” might check the boxes—but it won’t shape thriving, emotionally whole adults.
And isn’t that the point?
