Stop making excuses.
Your kid isn’t a pawn.
Not your emotional support.
Not your revenge tactic.
Not your audience.
Just because you’re angry at your co-parent doesn’t give you permission to sacrifice your child in the process. You might not even realize that’s what you’re doing — but that is what you’re doing.
You don’t get to read them court documents.
You don’t get to tell them what your lawyer said or didn’t say.
You don’t get to weaponize your pain and expect your child to carry it for you.
Let them be kids.
Let them love both their parents.
Let them grow up safe from your chaos.
Let them learn what maturity looks like by watching you.
Because that’s what they’ll remember.
That’s what builds their security.
That’s how they learn resilience — not from what you say, but from how you show up when things get hard.
Your child doesn’t care what the judge ruled.
They don’t care what your lawyer argued.
They care that you showed up.
That you stayed grounded.
That you didn’t make them choose sides — even when you wanted them to.
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And while we’re here:
If your child wants to try a sport or join an activity and you shut it down just because the other parent suggested it — stop. Ask yourself:
Is this about them, or about you?
Is it about control? Is it about pride?
Because no matter how good your story sounds, your child will eventually see the truth.
And when they do, it will be on you.
It will be your loss.
Is that what you want?
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You don’t have to agree with your ex.
You don’t have to like their choices.
But you do have to prioritize your child’s well-being — even when it costs you comfort, power, or validation.
Parenting isn’t about winning.
It’s about showing up. Leading. Guiding. Growing.
And no, it’s not easy.
But if you’re ready to do the hard work — the real work — you don’t have to figure it out alone.
